Archive for July, 2010

only for His glory

How many times did I try to look for answers… How often did I struggle with uncertainty… How long have I been waiting for good news…
How hard did I knock myself out to run away from my problems… How many times did I fail from my own judgments..

how many times.. how many times.. how many times I searched for a way out.. oh this is just never ending puzzle

not only that I lost hopes, but I was distress, heart-broken, and full of disappointment..
the illness, insecurity, job matters, family problems, ..
yes, I needed help!

until one day, while we were serving songs at the mass, when I was extremely weary, I knell down , went to a quiet moment inside, felt my heart pounding softly, surrendered to my Lord, and selfishly said  “I have done so much Lord, please show me a way out”

That day there were only few rows occupied by us – the choirs, we thought that we should give full force to be heard by the congregation, and just like the other weeks, we tried our best to serve the Lord.

Then we sang the  “Servant Song”, conducted by Joanna that Saturday ..What do you want of me, Lord? Where do you want me to serve you? Where can I sing your praises? I am your song. Jesus, Jesus, You are the Lord. Jesus, Jesus You are the way..

Mouthing the song I closed my eyes and shed tears, there I felt a friend tapping my back and calmly whispered, twice,  “You’re alright, …you are alright” I looked behind since I thought my choir friend saw me tears and kindly comforting me, but … it wasn’t any of them,  they were all giving their full hearts and voices to sing, … then, I realized, … it was Jesus. It was all His promises that kept me going.

so how could I finally find a way out? only through JESUS.
What is it that He cannot do?
Just holding onto Him, and I will be alright!

Here we are now, having our new home blessed with brothers and sisters, with  so much gladness and thankfulness, so we could feel the peace and love, in our home.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15)

note for Jo: I finally found the word of how I felt when you were conducting, it was ‘gloriously fulfilling’


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